Showing posts from February, 2022

Is it time for a change of space?

Fifteen tabs are open and I can't seem to find what I am currently working on. I step away from my computer to go browse what's in the fridge. Nothing catches my eye, so I circle back to my computer, stare at the fifteen tabs trying to figure out what I was working on. Can't quite remember, so I pick up my phone to app hop. People are showing things off, I don't see anything interesting. I stand up and put my phone in the couch far away from me so I won't get distracted by it. Back at my computer, the screen saver has appeared. I log back in and the fifteen tabs are still waiting. I close all of them and start over.  This time I have about 10 tabs open. My phone chimes. I leave my computer to check on my phone. It's just a news alert. Nothing serious. But since I'm on my phone, I might as well do another sweep on social. I'm sure something interesting has happened in the last 15 minutes. Nope. I was wrong. I put the phone down and head to the kitchen. Ma

The view looks different from here or does it look the same. I can't tell

 My simple life took a drastic turn last year. For the first time in my twenty-nine years of existence, I packed up my life and moved across the country away from my family and friends. As I enjoy my first California winter of mostly clear skies paired with a light jacket, I can't help but think of my winter jacket. I left it back in New York at my parent's home.  I thought of my winter jacket as I put on my favorite Adidas sweatsuit to go for a hike with a friend from work. I thought about how I would layer up under my winter jacket to travel around NYC in search of adventure. I'd usually wind up at a museum or some cool pop-up show but I usually didn't need to plan it out. And if all failed, I'd resort to watching the Husdon River from Brooklyn Bridge Park or Brookfield Place while thinking about my life. As I searched for experiences and pondered on how I can make enough to survive on my own, I was neither sad nor happy. If I'm being honest I felt, and at tim

Crank up the music, I am creating

There are people who create in absolute silence. I cannot imagine how they do that. When I'm creating, I need to crank tunes. No set playlist, somedays, I need Jazz, other days Pop, Kpop, Afro-Cuban, or something new.  There are moments when I take a dance break while creating. Music is so intricately connected with whatever I make.  Does this mean I also need to credit the music artist I'm listening to while creating a piece?

Created to Create?

While at Bible study tonight, I had a thought. If we were created in the image of God, then it makes sense why we as humans love to create. Like, if we were created, then we are made to create. I realized that no matter what we do, it's a form of creating. Even if you are the most analytical person, you are still creating something. It just looks a bit different because you are creating with numbers, you are creating systems, and so on. So my challenge is to find something that humans do out of our own free will that isn't creating. Because, if we are made to create, we aren't here by accident. Our purpose lies in whatever we were sent here to create.

Starting over

Joy encompassed me when I finally found myself. Lost in that moment of bliss, I started designing my next steps. It's only up from here, right? I really wanted the answer to that question to be a resounding yes! As I twirled in the bliss of owning my creativity, the people around me started to disappear. One by one. My mind started to fog. Is this even what I really wanted? Do I want to be a creative entrepreneur? As I reassured myself of my decision, two thoughts rested on me. Am I running from something? Or am I running to something? The answer to those questions terrified me.  Yes, I was running from something. Feelings of loneliness, lack of self-worth, pain, and so much more haunted me for as long as I can remember. I never felt good enough. Until... I made a waist bead for a colleague and it was well-received. It felt good to be appreciated and I wanted more of that feeling. Other people asked me to make them jewelry. And I did. But when they received their handmade piece, th

Creative Strain

Narrowing down my creativity to one specific niche proved challenging for me. I couldn't do it.  Then I did. I picked jewelry. But something strange happened.  The more I tried to focus on jewelry and make it my side hustle, the more I started resenting it. Jewelry became my personality. I had to tell everyone I made jewelry, yet, I wasn't confident enough to call myself a Jewelry Designer. My hobby started to hold me hostile.  My thoughts shifted as I became obsessed with selling. Will people like this piece? Will they buy it? I need at least 10 sales this week. That's doable, right? Maybe I should sell jewelry courses too. That will definitely put me on the path to generational wealth. Yes, full steam ahead! I built lifestyles around my impending success. A house for my parents, funds for my sister's college education, and for me, a modern apartment with lots of personality overlooking the Hudson River.  I set my hopes high. Who wouldn't? People even validated my